Busy Busy Jasmine

Well this last week and a few days has been quite busy. Which is so not like me at all since I got here.

YAY! Monday was great. Classes went fine, it didn't really feel like a Monday and Litia got me Pepsi. Oh boy that made me happy :). Tuesday I gave a biological thought in Biology. I did the video "The Impossible Shot From Above" about great whites. I think I did pretty well, and it wasn't something that everyone knows about. I also got a package from the Family! It was a complete surprise, and it made me very happy because I LOVE Halloween (and fall for that matter). I also got little sharkie gummy candies and I eated them because they are yummy and I like sharks . . . well, love them actually. They were so kind and gave me a little ghost with lights, and boy is it so cute just sitting on my desk next to my bed. Its so cute, thanks guys! On Wednesday I took care of my financial aid things so I can hopefully register for my classes this coming Friday.

Thursday was just fine. Some good things (I think) happened. I also went to a presentation called "Emma Smith: An Elect Lady", it was inspiring and I realized even more how strong she really was. Friday was not my most fabulous day. I had put off a bunch of homework, so I had to finish it really quick because it was our ward's Halloween dance thingy, and I wanted to dress up. So I did, as a zombie... huge shocker... and got there half hour early because I thought it started at 8, and it started at 9. Oh well, I was also like the only person who went all out on costumes, so I felt a little out of place at frist, but then I got over it and had a good time - trying not to notice everyone looking at me.

Saturday. Beach day! So, I went to the beach at like 11 with my friend Teresa, her friend Rachel, and another girl who's name I can't remember... She had a car, so we went to Waimea Bay. It was such a pretty day when we went! The water was coldish, but once we got in, in was great. I got sunburned... even though I put on sunscreen. Oh well, I had a great time. After that, I got so freaking tired. I figured out later that it was partially because of the sunburn, but only on my left shoulder and some of my back. That evening myself and 2 of my roomies - Maria and Bedi -  went on a haunted hayride that was like a 10 minute bike ride away. It was $20 and not really worth it. I mean, it was freaky when the people came out of nowhere acting like zombies, and almost touching you, but once they went away our brains kicked in and we were like, "this is kind of dumb, lets act really scared". Funny enough, there was a girl in the trailer ahead of us who FREAKED OUT every time. It was very entertaining to watch her reactions to the smallest things. We got back at like 10:30 and went to Food Land. We, well, I bought ice cream and we rented The Hobbit with a code I had from Redbox. Bedi and I set up shop on the floor of our room and watched it. It got over at like 2 AM and I was passed out long before that. It was a nice roomie night, other than Litia :(. 

Sunday was, well, Sunday. I watched The Hobbit, to get my money's worth (Food Land is closed on Sunday). I really do like that movie, and all the Lord of the Rings' for that matter. It was quite a relaxing day, and that night I went to a multi-stake fireside and I really liked it. I ended up going by myself, but I really don't mind it at all. 

So, yeah, it was a much better week than the precious one and I am so grateful for those that helped pull me out of my unhappy place, and now I am being even more proactive about getting out. If any of you are reading this, Maria, Bedi, Teresa, and others - thank you so much. I really needed it, and there really aren't words to describe how grateful I am that you paid attention when I was too afraid to do anything.

A NEW WEEK! Yesterday was pretty laid back. I slept in a bit... even though I went to bed early. After classes I went to Food Land with Litia and Anastasia, and we went to Angel's after. I was craving some shave ice and that place is just so YUMMY! And for those who know, I did not tip it over this time :D go me! My tongue was nice and blue for English, nobody said anything, so maybe nobody noticed. Litia went to get her friend Danielle from the airport and I really like her :) she is SO nice! I went to dinner with Maria and Bedi, and it was a typical caf dinner. I wanted ice cream, and it was so yummy. I got triple fudge brownie - heavenly. I treated Maria and Bedi to some as well because I had flex dollars that don't roll over so I've got to use all of them before the end of the semester. I was so happy to go to bed because I was exhausted.

Today was pretty okay. Classes went fine, and I am pretty sure I did alright on my math quiz. I am hoping that I understand bio better eventually. I did quite a bit of homework today, even cancelled going to the beach to be a good girl. I went to dinner with Litia and Danielle and it was so entertaining. I love Polynesian people, in the most unracist way possible, and oh so positive. They are so nice, and having Litia as a roommate is a great blessing because I am meeting a lot of people because of her. And I really like her as well ;). 

Wellm hope I haven't bored you all to death, but that was my week or so. Enjoy.

~Jasmine.

Sorry.

This is going to sound horrible, considering that I really do like living here, it is so beautiful and I love the beach but I can't handle the social aspect of it all.

I have been trying so hard to make friends but it simply isn't getting anywhere. The people I consider my "friends" I don't see hardly at all. I see everyone else out all day and being with people and I want to do that. Every time I try to do something, nobody answers. I spend all my evenings by myself trying to figure out ways to entertain myself that doesn't involve sitting on my bed watching Netflix or YouTube. 

There is a girl I met, and she is nice and all. but I really think that she doesn't like me at all because every time I try to arrange something, she says no. Flat out no. Then there are her friends, who frankly don't like me and they don't try to hide it at all.

There is another group that I like being with but they are the same way. If I try to do something they say no, or just don't answer texts. 

I don't know what I did . . .  or don't do, but I am going so far from my comfort zone that I physically couldn't even do it 3 months ago. As I write this, I am seriously crying. I have tears steaming down my face and onto my keyboard.

This has all been building up for a couple weeks and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I really don't know if being here is even right anymore. I am one of those people that loves being around people and having friends, and not having that has made me resort to TV again. I haven't been this bad with watching TV since like 8th grade when all I did was read books. This is so hard and even though I am trying with all that I have in me, all I am getting is rejection and it hurts. So much more than I thought possible.

Well, If nobody reads this I understand, I shouldn't be so whiney, but oh well. There it is, the truth.

Its almost Midterm!

Well hello everyone! I am stinky at updating this, I know :/

These last 2 weeks haven't been very eventful, aside from a few choice things. I didn't really watch all of conference, I slept through the morning sessions and watched the afternoon ones, so that's good. 

Well the last 2 weeks have been full of homework. A lot of it. SO on Monday, the 7th, I really needed to go to Food Land and I didn't want to go by myself so I asked my lovely friend Teresa to come with me. We went and it was a grand girl time. She is super nice - and not from Utah! she's from California :0. When we went I bought, and this is going to sound so random... Cereal (Crunch berries) Ritz crackers, and a multi-vitamin. I haven't been eating rounded meals at all, so hopefully I don't die of a lack of nutrients now (by golly they are expensive!). So on Tuesday I really wasn't feeling well, and honestly, I almost threw up . . . ew I know, so I hadn't eaten all day and I was shaking like a leaf because I was so afraid of throwing up because then I would have to miss class. I made a decision that day as well that I really need to study more for biology and it was reinforced on Thursday when I took my 2nd test. The rest of Tuesday was spent doing nothing because my brain literally would just stop its train of thought in the middle of me doing something, it was not a good day by any means.

Wednesday was spent PREPPING FOR WHITE GLOVE CHECKS. Mostly doing my laundry and deep cleaning my room, vacuuming the carpets etc. It was kind of horrible. Luckily, I got to talk to one of my friends, so that made my relatively happy for the moment (if the same thing happened today, it would not have had the same effect at all). My homework took forever that day and I so did not want to deal with life. So this day I really missed Brendan more than I usually do. I'm not sure why, but I really needed a hug from him. I haven't had a hug in like a month... and I really like hugs :(.  Thursday was pretty okay. We had out white glove and we all passed, thank heavens. I posted on Facebook that I was having issues with Biology, and Uncle Michael gave me some tips and they helped! Thanks a ton Michael!!!

Friday, now that was not very good.  I slept in because a canoe came to Laie Bay, so my Hawaiian Studies class was cancelled, so I didn't have class until 3:40. I did homework for HWST and got a lot done on a pretty big project. that night I went and had one of my bi-weekly single movie nights. It was the Corpse Bride, and I realized even more that I do not like Tim Burton Movies, they are just too creepy for me. Saturday was a day that I did a ton. Oh my heavens. I got up really early - like 7:50 and went to a Relief Society activity. It was a get to know you one and we - sorry if this offends anyone - played a bunch of games that really made me feel SO awkward. I am trying to go outside my box a little, but it was really weird for me. That went for a bit and I tried to find someone to go to the beach with - I literally texted everyone I know here who's number I have - but to no avail, so I decided to go on my own. This was a big step for me because I do not like going places by myself here, I'm afraid I will get lost and be all alone and nobody would car (literally, nobody would notice if I just disappeared). Any-who  I went to Temple Beach. Isn't it so pretty?!?



So when I went to the beach, I was outside for like an hour and got sunburned - and I did apply sunscreen multiple times. But oh my, Saturday isn't over yet. Alex Boye was performing that night and I went! My friend met me outside my hale (he lives in the next one over) and we went over together. We, well he made us, sat behind bars so we could put our feet up without being all awkward. I had a really good time, and Alex Boye is really funny. I am so glad I decided to go, and honestly, I was amazed that my friend didn't just go sit by someone else. So, that made me feel a lot better about myself. I didn't go to bed early because we went to another hale and talked to a bunch of people until quite late. (once again, I was surprised he let me go).

Sunday. Fast Sunday. Well, my meals weren't any different because the school doesn't serve breakfast, and I am too lazy to eat lunch before church (mine starts at 12:20). It was fine, I don't think there was anything amazing about it, other than all the powerful testimonies. Ward prayer was fun, now that I have been to one. This guy Justin, who is also in my Book of Mormon class came and we talked. He was really nice, and I thought we would get along, I really haven't talked to him since... that kinda makes me sad. Maybe I will try to get to know him better, you should know why if you know me.

Wow. That was only a week! That was a pretty busy week. Wow.

Monday! Well I didn't do a ton, other than go to FHE (we were supposed to play Ultimate Frisbee, but we didn't) and talk to a few girls in my ward and hale. There is this girl Cynthia, as I later learned, who was playing my favorite Lindsey Stirling song: Crystallize. It was amazing, and I told her so. On Monday night it was rainy and I was FREEZING and felt like I hadn't slept a wink. Turns out like the whole campus was the same way, go figure, we all kind of looked like zombies walking around. Tuesday was the day that I really started worrying about my grades, getting a job and paying for school. I am seriously so stressed it isn't even funny at all.

Wednesday was Daddy's birthday! Don't worry, I have it now, and I am going to send it out hopefully Monday :/. I love you dad, and I can't wait to see you again! On this day I took my math test... 66%. I am ashamed. I cried, like tears were streaming down my face when I got back to my room. Thursday! Well I got a lot done in like an hour right before Bio. I did homework, which I have like never done. We are starting the Genetics Unit, which I LOVE! They are so interesting, and I like to think I understand it better than cell stuff. I took my bio test... 56%. These seriously are the WORST test scores I have gotten in my life. I don't even know what is my problem, it is worrying me beyond belief.

Finally, Friday. On this lovely day, my HWST teacher decided to let us forgo class and enjoy the 'aina. ( it is the land, or that which feeds). Instead of going outside, I got my housekeeping things and paper filled out. I figured that if I did it then, I could do more for me Saturday. The movie I watched, and I have dubbed Friday nights 'Date Night with Myself' because I don't have friends :(. I watched The Clash of the Titans, which I have been wanting to see for a while, and I quite liked it. Today! Well, yesterday technically, but close enough. I slept in and didn't even set an alarm. I got up before 9. I went to the beach with one of the girls I know, McKenna, and her "flatmates" as she calls them :). Anyways, I don't think they liked me... or the fact that I crashed their party... Well I did get a little burned, but that's okay! It wore me out. I came home, showered, ate and then slept. It was great. I ate dinner later and then watched the Addams Family. I didn't like it, and it was a waste of 2 hours, quite frankly.

Well, there you go. My boring adventures. I am probably going to post something tomorrow, or today rather... but nobody has to read it, I just really need to vent all my frustrations away, and sorry, but I will be vague. If you feel you need more details, just message me or something because I have NO cell service in my room, and that is where I spend most of my time.

Have a happy day all you people!
Loves, Jaz

Its already October!

I cannot believe that it is already October! It came so fast! So, since its October, I have officially lived her in beautiful Laie, Hawaii for over a month. Wow - time flies quick.

I know it has been a while, but I have been really busy. My classes are going well, I always have a bunch of homework to do and it really stresses me out.  Lets see... these last few weekends, I have gone to the beach every Friday and/or Saturday. We always go at night because that is what works for me and my friend. I really love the ocean now, and have a really good time actually getting in the water. (I know! surprise of all surprises! Especially at night!)

One Friday night me and my friend Anna went to the beach at like 8 and watched the moon rise. I swear, that was one of the coolest things I have ever seen! It was so beautiful and big and majestic. I really was amazed. So, Saturday my friend asked me if I wanted to go hiking with him and some friends, and it was the falls behind the PCC so of course I said yes! It was a day out of my dorm and I met a bunch of new people. I was a good hiker and got to swim once we got there. So, yeah, I really like hiking here. Church is great also, my bishop is pretty cool. And I can finally pronounce his name :0. I got called as the Relief Society Chorister - the only thing I can really do! haha.

The week of the 22-28 was pretty hectic. I took a math test and did horribly. I studies hard, and thought I knew what I was doing - I didn't have any idea. I also updated my phone, that week. I really didn't like it at first, but I am more used to it now. On that Thursday, one of my roommates, Bedi, asked if I wanted to go to an opening social and then Latin Dancing. We went and it was really fun. I danced with a couple guys and they were pretty good! :) It was a blast! And yet another night not just spend in my room, and getting to know my roommates better. The 27th my friends were all busy so I texted another friend to see if he could assist me in getting out of my room on a Friday night. Thankfully he did, and we ended up going to the beach - Hukilau -  with a bunch of people he knew. We piled about 8 people into a 5 passenger car, and I was sitting on someone's lap I had met like twice before... quite an adventure. anyways, I had a blast talking to people and getting into the ocean. I was wearing my one piece swimsuit, so all the sand a seaweed that got in there was just stuck. So, I was itchy. We stayed there for a while, but left at about 1 AM because the guys we were with were going to hike Stairway to Heaven at 2 AM. Right at the end of being there, something had stung my leg and foot, so I was in some pain and my leg mostly around my knee was red and swollen. Luckily it went away quick, so it wasn't anything to worry about. The day after (Saturday) was spent cleaning. I cleaned my room and did my laundry and watched Netflix. It was a productive day. 

Okay, this next week was pretty full, and really busy. I took a bio test on Monday and bombed it. It was so horrible, I really need to step up my game in that class. On Thursday night, I watched a movie, Finding Nemo (or well, part of it) with some friends until we had to go back to our hales. It was fun, and a nice thing to do because I had been shut in my room all week. On Friday mt friends were busy again so I went solo to the free movie on campus, Beautiful Creatures, and I really enjoyed it. Yesterday I had cinnamon rolls from a friend during the second session of conference and then went to the beach - during the day - with another friend and her friends. It was a blast! I really do like the beach! Later that night I went to another free movie on campus with my friend McKenna. We should not be allowed in movie theaters, we are so loud! We saw Battleship and I really liked it. I loved how there were so many references to the game, we sure giggled about that.

Well, sorry it took so long, but my life has its ups and downs. I'm just trying to live until I get to go home and see all the people in Utah! Its only like 2 months away now.

~Jaz