Change my Major? And other Happenings.

Hello! 

So, this week is pretty boring. I went to my classes Monday through Wednesday and they were pretty fine. I didn't have my Book of Mormon class or Biology, so that was a lot of fun. Monday we had topic proposals in English, and I had a great idea that didn't exactly work for out topics. So my teacher and I thought about it and we decided on the topic of Depression in Men and arguing the point that men are just as likely to be depressed as women are. It is a really interesting topic and when I checked out a book from the library titled Men and Depression and when the guy checked it out to me he gave me the weirdest 'why are you checking out this book' look. Whilst writing I figured out why it interests me so, which I'n not going to put on here, but I think its a pretty good reason. So, yeah. I'm pretty happy about my essay so far and it involved a LOT of research. Last thing that happened! So, Andrew got a Galaxy S4 and it was on my update, so they shut off MY SIM card and then couldn't turn it back on, so I was out of a cellular device with cellular reception. It sucked big time.

Tuesday was fine, we had a white glove which they didn't even really do, she walked in said we passed and went on her merry way, yay for us. Math was fine, we took a quiz and I honestly don't know how I did, it is a total toss up. In the afternoon I met with my debate partner for our debate in English and we talked about our points for our debate the next day. The quote was "Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth" -JFK and we were on the side that agreed with the quote. It was a really good debate in my opinion,  I feel like we both got our points across in a decent manner. Wednesday was the final day of classes for the week and I was supposed to get my SIM card, but the FedEx truck was running late, so I didn't get it. I was beyond frustrated. On Wednesday I went on a bike ride at SEVEN THIRTY in the morning to the temple, it was nice and made my legs freaking sore.

Thanksgiving was a good day. I slept in for a while and when I finally got up and showered I headed over to the Aloha Ballroom for our ward's thanksgiving meal. It was decent food and I ate way too much. After, I went into a food coma for a few hours and then went to the beach. It was so nice, since I hadn't been in forever because I was either too tired, too busy or the weather wasn't beach enough for me. It killed my feet, but I didn't get sunburned and it was really nice. I ate pop tarts for dinner because there wasn't any other food on campus.

Friday was a great day. I watched TV and did homework all day. It was rainy and yucky so I didn't get to go to the beach because I was cold for most of the day. That evening my and Litia went on a roomie date (like we do quite often) and went to see Catching Fire. Oh my good heavens. I loved that movie so much. On a side note, me and Litia are perfect movie buddies because we both get way into movies, so it works out nicely. We got Subway after and I ate half right then and then ate the rest for a night snack today. I also have taken to reading The Hobbit before bed after I have shut off my computer for the night.

Today was quite nice, I ate food. And watched the ShayTards. If you haven't watched their videos, you all should. They are vloggers of their everyday lives and I love them. They are Mormons as well, which I figured out about 2 minutes into the first video of theirs I ever watched. I figured it out by a picture of Christ they had (which is this one) and it is like the typical Mormon picture of Jesus. And then later they had a FHE board in their house. I was seriously almost screaming it made me so darn happy! (ask Litia, she was there).

Speaking of which, I am so grateful for him and everything he did. I am so excited to celebrate his birth, and this whole season!

So, yeah. Watch their videos, they are funny and clean and so great. 

Today I also cut out some snowflakes out of paper to make my bulletin board more festive, and its on Instagram, they're little but I am hoping to add more festiveness.  I'm working on getting lights maybe and making a red green and white chain to hang as well. I just LOVE Christmas if you couldn't tell :D

So to the title of this post... This week has been a soul searching week for me. I have been really thinking about my major, and I am wondering if I should change it. Having been shoved into massive research about depression, and communication, it has renewed my fascination with it. So I have been thinking that maybe I might want to go into a social work field, specifically in counseling. I remember back in like 9th grade it was something that had fascinated me and for a little while I wanted to be a school counselor (for counseling, not like setting up graduation stuff) or just being a counselor in general for troubled people. This appeals to me because I could move back to Utah and study there because there isn't a dire need to do it here in Hawaii, which would be just fine with me. So, yeah, next semester I am taking classes for my Marine biology major, just in case I decide to stay, but I have been praying really hard about and I am getting a comforted feeling whenever I am thinking about transferring to a school in Utah. So if anyone wants to pray for me... that would be greatly appreciated because this is something that I think could be a life changing decision. 

I cannot believe that it is DECEMBER tomorrow. Or in like 30 minutes here. Then its just over 2 weeks until I fly home! It so doesn't feel like it and it is weirding me out. I got some Christmas shopping done today, and I feel quite accomplished. I am so stinking excited to go home and to be in Utah again and to hug Brendan and my Dad and Mom and Hunter and Andrew and Hailey.

That is all for tonight, so yeah. I am quite a thinker at this time and place. :)

Been Thinking

Well, I think that I have been a thinker over the last month. Sorry for not updating, but I haven't really done a whole lot.

Honestly, I haven't been to the beach since my last post. It has been rainy and cloudy, and I don't like going to the beach when its like that. There have also been days when its got down to - 65 degrees - and we were so cold. Me and Litia just snuggled down in our room and camped out, our fans were even off for like 3 days. 

School is hard. Its even worse with my horrible not skill of managing time. I am the hugest procrastinator. It is something that I am trying to improve upon, but I'm not so sure of how to do it but I really am trying. My classes are absolutely horrible, I am not doing well, and am considering changing my major to something that I can study in Utah. (I'll explain why later). My biology class is extremely hard, apparently the teacher isn't the best, so that might be a reason, but in any form, if I pass the class, I will be happy. It is really hard for me, this whole adjustment from high school where everything is given to you, to college where everything is assumed that you already know, and then more that you have never heard of. I find it hard to encourage myself to study really hard, and I can't do it in complete silence. I have learned this by my many attempts of studying in the library that didn't do any good. Right now I am in the process of distancing myself from watching TV and studying more, I really am working on it. As it is finals time, there are SO many things that I have to do, and sometimes there are times when I have to just empty my mind and not think about it, I think I want to really take up reading again to empty my mind. I think that is just about everything about school that I can think of.

My social life hasn't been the best, and I really have tried sometimes. Luckily, mine and Litia's eating schedules are relatively the same, so unless one of us is sleeping, we usually eat dinner together, which I really enjoy :D. A couple weekends ago, I literally spent the entire sitting on my bed watching TV because I did not feel well at all. I was exhausted and I also took a few naps that day. Litia dragged me out of my room and made me go to the caf to eat. The next Friday night I went to the Fall Ball by myself and some friends. It was so fun! And I was sore the nest day, and I spent a lot of the day watching TV because it takes me forever to get over a late night. We got back from the dance at almost 2 in the morning, so it was a late and exhausting night. Today is full of homework because finals and essays abound, so that is what I am working on today.

So lately, mostly this morning, I realized that living in Hawaii isn't for me. I do like warm, but I LOVE seasons. It has been a serious consideration, and I have come to that conclusion. Since I don't go to the beach, living here really isn't doing me any good. It id like living in Idaho or Oklahoma in the way that some things just take too long to get to. Especially here where everything that is really worth going to is like an hour away, and considering I don't have a car, or friends who have cars, I am stuck here. That is something that I really don't like, being so far away from things. I really started thinking about this this morning. I know quite a few people who surf, or boogie board, or body surf, so living here is great for them. Unfortunately, I am not like that. I don't love the beach. There it is, I think that I am someone who likes going on vacation to the beach, but living near the beach just isn't all it was cracked up to be.  So, yeah, I am going to stay here for another semester and then consider going to UVU to study Biology. And yes, this isn't something that I just thought of now, this has been weeks in the making. 

I am well aware that people think that I need to be here, and at the time I know that it was meant for me to go here, but I am having too many issues and I just simply don't think that it is worth living here. So there it is, all my fears, thoughts and problems. Let me know if anyone has anything to say... I love hearing what people think.

Thanks for reading

Jasmine