This is going to sound horrible, considering that I really do like living here, it is so beautiful and I love the beach but I can't handle the social aspect of it all.
I have been trying so hard to make friends but it simply isn't getting anywhere. The people I consider my "friends" I don't see hardly at all. I see everyone else out all day and being with people and I want to do that. Every time I try to do something, nobody answers. I spend all my evenings by myself trying to figure out ways to entertain myself that doesn't involve sitting on my bed watching Netflix or YouTube.
There is a girl I met, and she is nice and all. but I really think that she doesn't like me at all because every time I try to arrange something, she says no. Flat out no. Then there are her friends, who frankly don't like me and they don't try to hide it at all.
There is another group that I like being with but they are the same way. If I try to do something they say no, or just don't answer texts.
I don't know what I did . . . or don't do, but I am going so far from my comfort zone that I physically couldn't even do it 3 months ago. As I write this, I am seriously crying. I have tears steaming down my face and onto my keyboard.
This has all been building up for a couple weeks and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I really don't know if being here is even right anymore. I am one of those people that loves being around people and having friends, and not having that has made me resort to TV again. I haven't been this bad with watching TV since like 8th grade when all I did was read books. This is so hard and even though I am trying with all that I have in me, all I am getting is rejection and it hurts. So much more than I thought possible.
Well, If nobody reads this I understand, I shouldn't be so whiney, but oh well. There it is, the truth.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I have been through this before, since my family moved around a lot while I was growing up, and even the last couple of moves as an adult. I have spent most of the last 14 months pretty severely depressed, actually. While I know where you're coming from, I don't have a magic formula for you. What I can tell you is that what makes a huge difference for me is to be involved in doing something. Join a club, ask for a calling if you don't have one, find people you can serve. As an extreme introvert by nature myself, I know it's not easy, but I promise it helps. Feeling alone is so, so hard, but always remember your Heavenly Father and Savior are always aware of you, love you, and are there for you. Pray often, even when you don't feel like it. I really hope you get things figured out and can hang in there long enough to start feeling more comfortable. :)
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