Been Thinking

Well, I think that I have been a thinker over the last month. Sorry for not updating, but I haven't really done a whole lot.

Honestly, I haven't been to the beach since my last post. It has been rainy and cloudy, and I don't like going to the beach when its like that. There have also been days when its got down to - 65 degrees - and we were so cold. Me and Litia just snuggled down in our room and camped out, our fans were even off for like 3 days. 

School is hard. Its even worse with my horrible not skill of managing time. I am the hugest procrastinator. It is something that I am trying to improve upon, but I'm not so sure of how to do it but I really am trying. My classes are absolutely horrible, I am not doing well, and am considering changing my major to something that I can study in Utah. (I'll explain why later). My biology class is extremely hard, apparently the teacher isn't the best, so that might be a reason, but in any form, if I pass the class, I will be happy. It is really hard for me, this whole adjustment from high school where everything is given to you, to college where everything is assumed that you already know, and then more that you have never heard of. I find it hard to encourage myself to study really hard, and I can't do it in complete silence. I have learned this by my many attempts of studying in the library that didn't do any good. Right now I am in the process of distancing myself from watching TV and studying more, I really am working on it. As it is finals time, there are SO many things that I have to do, and sometimes there are times when I have to just empty my mind and not think about it, I think I want to really take up reading again to empty my mind. I think that is just about everything about school that I can think of.

My social life hasn't been the best, and I really have tried sometimes. Luckily, mine and Litia's eating schedules are relatively the same, so unless one of us is sleeping, we usually eat dinner together, which I really enjoy :D. A couple weekends ago, I literally spent the entire sitting on my bed watching TV because I did not feel well at all. I was exhausted and I also took a few naps that day. Litia dragged me out of my room and made me go to the caf to eat. The next Friday night I went to the Fall Ball by myself and some friends. It was so fun! And I was sore the nest day, and I spent a lot of the day watching TV because it takes me forever to get over a late night. We got back from the dance at almost 2 in the morning, so it was a late and exhausting night. Today is full of homework because finals and essays abound, so that is what I am working on today.

So lately, mostly this morning, I realized that living in Hawaii isn't for me. I do like warm, but I LOVE seasons. It has been a serious consideration, and I have come to that conclusion. Since I don't go to the beach, living here really isn't doing me any good. It id like living in Idaho or Oklahoma in the way that some things just take too long to get to. Especially here where everything that is really worth going to is like an hour away, and considering I don't have a car, or friends who have cars, I am stuck here. That is something that I really don't like, being so far away from things. I really started thinking about this this morning. I know quite a few people who surf, or boogie board, or body surf, so living here is great for them. Unfortunately, I am not like that. I don't love the beach. There it is, I think that I am someone who likes going on vacation to the beach, but living near the beach just isn't all it was cracked up to be.  So, yeah, I am going to stay here for another semester and then consider going to UVU to study Biology. And yes, this isn't something that I just thought of now, this has been weeks in the making. 

I am well aware that people think that I need to be here, and at the time I know that it was meant for me to go here, but I am having too many issues and I just simply don't think that it is worth living here. So there it is, all my fears, thoughts and problems. Let me know if anyone has anything to say... I love hearing what people think.

Thanks for reading

Jasmine