Flaws? Yes.

Today has just been one of those days that I have thought a lot about the flaws that I have. I had this thought that I am not perfect, and the flaws far outweigh the good things. I went to the beach today,thinking it would be a fun thing to do in the midst of finals - I just up and decided it. So I didn't prepare or put on sunscreen. I got extremely toasted - it doesn't hurt me, but I am cold and tired, but most other people have noticed... it is a little embarrassing. In any case, I thought that  I would write down the things that I don't like about myself (mostly physical) that I fully intend are changing, but haven't had the encouragement to yet.

I'm saying all of this because since summer is coming, although I will have work, I believe that I will have more time to actually exercise and get to the place that I want to be (physically as well as spiritually, don't worry)

I don't like my teeth - they aren't super bad from the front, but any other angle and they look really yucky. I want braces SO bad but I don't know if it will ever actually happen.
I don't like my abdominal area. There's fat there and it stops me from wearing some clothes that are really cute because they make my fat do weird things.
I don't like my legs. They're fat and I hate them, especially my thighs - I do intend on making them smaller because I need new jeans and I don't want to buy more just to have them get baggy eventually.
I don't like my upper arms. They're jiggly and I miss back in my senior year when they were pretty darn toned for me.
I don't really like my bum. Its kinda big and it makes skirts hard to wear because they're always higher in the back than the front.
I dislike my hips. They're really wide and it makes buying pants and skirts difficult. I've been told that I can fix that too, but I don't know how.

There are also personality traits that drive me insane, but I just don't know what to do about them.

I watch too much TV and don't get things done. Seriously, if I have things to do I WILL leave it until the last minute, sometimes it turns out okay, other times not so much.
I love the sun and being outside, but the sun hates me.
I also read too much. When I get a book there's a part of my brain that thinks that I have to finish it in a day (unless its either a bad book then I take it back, or its just boring)
I hold on to things for WAAAYYY too long. I don't get over liking someone and it causes me pain and then I'm sad a lot of the time.
I make decisions that I regret in emotionalness or anger - a lot. I do things that I don't mean to do and think to myself "why did I do that".
I also like people really fast, and I always like the completely wrong person. I realize this now, and it probably will be the reason that I'm going to be single for my whole life.
When I'm sad I listen to sad songs that make me cry because when I was younger I never cried, so somehow I think I can makeup for all the years of dry eyes.

So overall, I just don't understand why anyone can even think of me in anything but a negative way because there are so many bad things about me than good things. If I knew myself I think I would hate myself . . . and I don't know what to do about it.

Now that I think, there are a few things I like about myself:
My eyes, they're pretty and blue. My wrists, they're small, bony and dainty. My collarbone, it is not covered in fat. My feet, they're not too big and not too small. My height, I can date almost guy and he'll most likely be taller than me.

That's all for now.

If you're reading this and you didn't get to it through Facebook, props to you.