Here's a post I wrote but didn't end... I don't know where my brain left off, but here is the part that I wrote all in one sitting. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense to anyone.
Its been a while since I've posted, so, sorry about that. Not a whole lot has happened in the last few weeks, classes have been in full swing and i think that I may be really starting to get the hang of my schedule that I have set for myself. One thing that has been going on is that I have been exercising regularly. For my fitness class I have to do at least 3 30 minute cardio workouts and 2 resistance workouts a week. It was weird at first, and I was hesitant to go into the fitness center because I am not comfortable running outside (it kills me). And this past week I found out the fitness center has a women's hour from 6-6:45 Tuesday and Thursday. This made me so excited! I love lifting weights thanks to taking weightlifting my senior year, and being able to go into the weight room without a billion guys in there lifting at least twice as much as I can is awesome. So i went and there were only like 3 or 4 other girls in there. Today my friend Amanda and I went and worked out, and there were guys in there as well so I just did my thing not really caring what they thought, it was a pretty big step for me with all my self confidence issues that I have. After working out I smelled about as far from a springtime meadow as possible, I could smell myself - I feel sorry for anyone in the vicinity and my beautiful scent from nearly an hour of gettin' my heart rate up! If I can walk without pain in a day or two, its because I didn't work hard enough!
Its been a while since I've posted, so, sorry about that. Not a whole lot has happened in the last few weeks, classes have been in full swing and i think that I may be really starting to get the hang of my schedule that I have set for myself. One thing that has been going on is that I have been exercising regularly. For my fitness class I have to do at least 3 30 minute cardio workouts and 2 resistance workouts a week. It was weird at first, and I was hesitant to go into the fitness center because I am not comfortable running outside (it kills me). And this past week I found out the fitness center has a women's hour from 6-6:45 Tuesday and Thursday. This made me so excited! I love lifting weights thanks to taking weightlifting my senior year, and being able to go into the weight room without a billion guys in there lifting at least twice as much as I can is awesome. So i went and there were only like 3 or 4 other girls in there. Today my friend Amanda and I went and worked out, and there were guys in there as well so I just did my thing not really caring what they thought, it was a pretty big step for me with all my self confidence issues that I have. After working out I smelled about as far from a springtime meadow as possible, I could smell myself - I feel sorry for anyone in the vicinity and my beautiful scent from nearly an hour of gettin' my heart rate up! If I can walk without pain in a day or two, its because I didn't work hard enough!
So I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately. I react weirdly to them, and I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing or if it is just a thing that happens. Mostly referring to people of the male specimen. I have had quite a few (mostly) close guy friends. Through high school, it seemed like I much rather would have been with guys than with girls (especially my junior year) and the trend repeated itself during the end of senior year and into the summer. I don't know what it is, because I don't exactly enjoy the same things as guys, but I would have rather been sitting in a corner watching guys play video games than to be at home doing something else. Eventually I caught on to the Frisbee thing, thank heavens, and going to play Frisbee was seriously something I looked forward to - for multiple reasons ;). When quite a few of my friends left on missions, it was weird to think that these people that I had grown close to over a relatively short amount of time were going out to serve the Lord and that I wouldn't be able to see them for quite a while. Most specifically, when Bryant left in July (he's been out for 7 months already!!!). It was so weird not having him around for the rest of the summer. It really bummed me out when I wasn't able to go to Jared's farewell in October because I was here. I miss him quite a lot because I really like him as a friend. Oh goodness, I miss my missionaries...
In addition to friends, I have been thinking about all the guys that I have liked through the years. And there have been a LOT of them. It seemed like more often than not, I tended to either have a crush on the one guy that everyone had a crush on, or someone that it seemed like I was the only one. But it didn't matter to me, if I liked them, it didn't matter what anyone else thought.
Eventually I got over all of them except one. And I was thinking about that relationship again, and it was quite different than any other relationship I've ever had because it became more than a relationship kinda fast and kinda not. Like, in retrospect, 2 months isn't very long, but I've seen people meet, date for little more than 2 months and get engaged. In my defense, I did get to know him as a friend and a person before I started to like him. I mean, I thought he was really cute (I still do) and it was surprisingly easy to talk to him, but I honestly never thought that I would date him. And it didn't matter to me what anyone else thought, I even told Hannah when I started to like him, which kind of surprised me.
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